Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Johhny Crush Review


Pretty cool box art. And you get to fight a penis monster (see screenshot below). I mean did it really need a pink texture?

It's a fearsome phallic foe! A sausagey centipede! A boner battle! Okay I am done. But seriously, come on.

What we have here is a decent attempt to make the first noteworthy FPS available to Community Games. Johnny Crush takes all of your favorite guns used in almost every FPS ever made (assault rifle, shotgun, chaingun, yada yada), and pits you against big insects in a city-like setting. My 'originality' meter is going flaccid (sorry) but I will give a quick high-five for delivering a playable FPS with solid graphics and fun guns. It's also easy to load up and just start splattering insects, with little concern for any sort of story/plot - and sometimes that's just what people are looking for.

Where this game falls short is the actual gameplay. We can certainly forgive Johhy Crush for the lack of AAA-level graphics and polish, and given the context it can certainly hold it's own on delivering fun visuals. But man oh man, be prepared to backpedal. With the drone-like AI that simply spawns and hones in on your location, and the wide open city streets, the ONLY way to play this game seems to be to back-back-back-that-shit-up with guns blazing. If you get your back against the wall, you're in trouble and usually you just try to escape to a new area so you can backpedal some more.

Regardless of the repetitive and somewhat mindless backpedaling extravaganza, it's not like players can't have a good deal of fun. I mean after all, it's an FPS with killer insects. The kicker however is the cost. This game needs to be marketed and delivered as the very-poor-man's Halo and at 800MP, that's just not cheap enough. It's going to be very hard to undercut the AAA titles, XBLA, and the bargain bins, with that ambitious top-level price tag. I hate to say it, but it's going to rub people the wrong way.

I admire the ambition, and believe this would definitely be a better, recommendable experience at 200MP. You'll have to really like FPSs, insects, and/or giant johnsons to shell out the cost of 2-4 smaller fun titles.

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