Lazy Review #11

Comin' at you with some more recommendations.

Twin Blades (240MP)

A quick look at the screenshot below will give you a good indication of the polished visuals in Twin Blades. So you get a good deal of eye candy. Namely, lush landscapes and a cartoony skirt-wearing scythe-wielding nun who hacks and guns down zombies.

I am honestly not sure you need much more to give this demo a whirl, but the gameplay is good enough to warrant a follow-through purchase. While I haven't done so myself yet (and I didn't receive a token, booooo), I am fairly certain that I can stand behind a recommendation.

It's a side-scrolling zombie hacker with what looks to be a fairly standard difficulty curve (more zombies, and tougher zombies) paralleled by ongoing weapon/power upgrades. It's a well-tested hook/progression that many of you have probably experienced in other games in the same genre. Twin Blades looks to be a cut above, and at a good price. Pimpin'.

The Impossible Game (80MP)

Ever been taunted by the title of a game? I kept passing this one over, but it started laughing at me so I snapped. Damn you, game.

Well, it also has great rating (gamer votes), and usually when a game only has shapes for graphics and a 4-star rating that means that something else was done very well. That is in fact the case, as The Impossible Game nails addictive simple gameplay while living up to it's name. For some, it may frustrate - but for those who can appreciate "practice makes perfect" you'll probably spend hours making your way through what I am calling, "the treadmill from hell."

Essentially, you control a small square that automatically "runs" through a gauntlet of traps. All you have to do is jump - sounds simple. NOT AT ALL. I was amazed at well the controls and trap design are laid out to create a challenge. Precision jumping and timing is crucial as the trap scroll towards you and multiple deaths are pretty much a given. Thankfully the punishment is low, and you can create your own checkpoints (limited number however) that allow you to spawn there after death.

I haven't beaten this one yet, and I a not sure I ever will. You up for it?

Colosseum: Hammerball (80MP)

I am glad to see Shortfuse back on the XBLIG map as I have always thought that the original Colosseum (now only 240MP, by the way) deserved much more attention. Hammerball is a sort of "light" version of the arena style fighter that offers a sporting variety of hockey.

Players control teams of hammer-wielding characters who can shoot, pass, and well...hammer a ball around the circular arena. The mechanics are similar to other sports games and it was easy to pick it up and figure out the basic controls. Plus you can still do some other attacks and maneuvers and I usually welcome a little violence.

And like it's predecessor, Hammerball uses cell shaded 3D graphics and the models/animations are some of the best you'll find on the platform. I'd recommend this one primarily as a multiplayer game as it's best experienced with/against a friend. At 80MP, it's an efficient use of a dollar.

Lazy Review #10

Happy Holidays everyone. I am back in action over here and you'll see more reviews rolling out at a faster pace. It's not so much a "new year's resolution" really - it's more me just giving myself a swift kick in the buttocks. (I'm flexible)

Kicking things off, this Lazy Review session is really more of a look back at the past couple of months of XBLIG releases, with a trifecta of recommendations from me. If you missed these games because you were bogged down over the holidays (or let's face it, flat broke because of the holidays) or playing one of the seven hundred AAA releases that all come out around November, then go back and have a look at these.

Goblyn Stomp (80 MP)

Another solid example of an 80MP-priced game that will provide you with a fresh burst of fun, Goblyn Stomp takes a simple premise, adds some powerups, and coats the whole package in a unique tophat-and-cane antiquey style/color palette.


All you have to do is stomp goblyns, which we're all pretty used to doing in one manner or another. Poorly executed stomping will result with the goblyns nibbling at your ankles until you die, which honestly feels a bit pathetic once you see these things. (see screenshot) They are sort of like fat clumsy chickens.

The key to the fun lock here is repetition and addiction. Squashing endless amounts of goblyns is a simple premise but one that focuses on a rather enjoyable aspect of your average platformer. There's nothing to learn except stomping technique - and as you stomp more goblyns you gain several upgrades (e.g. power stomp, cane spin, land mines) which allow for more stompage. Stomp as many as you can and watch your body count pile up towards the highest score. Something tells me that most readers reading this will have a mounting urge to go stomp some goblyns. Don't let me stop you.

Chris Unarmed (240 MP)

For all you platformer-lovers out there, this is a newcomer that will offer a lengthy and challenging experience. Once you get rolling the graphics grow on you and you will quickly realize that there are going to be some tough platforming challenges.


Most of the basics are intact here - avoid enemies, don't fall or hit traps, get from point A to point B, collect coins, etc. It's a time-tested formula that works well and there are some other tweaks as well. Wall jumping is available from the get-go and physics play a role in terms of air currents that manipulate movement. In general, these features work well, although sometimes there are some quirky movements that seem to be physics related - I occasionally died at the hands of some inexplicable lateral movement.

Some of level design is downright evil so I'd sharpen your platforming skills and prepare your patience. There's a nice light story built in and I found some charm in the fact that the developer designed the game around himself as an "unarmed" character - worth a go.

Johnny Platform Saves Xmas (240 MP)

It's a nice feeling when a successful game is followed up with a sequel. Many of you are probably familiar with the first Johnny Platform ("Biscuit Romp") game which was well-received and widely played. It's important to note that "Save Xmas" is not a re-skin or add-on, but a totally new adventure with all new levels and features.


For those of you who missed Biscuit Romp (now 80MP), I highly recommend both the original and this latest holiday release. They are both notable for their charming coffee-drinking main character, tight controls, and levels full of "ah-ha!" moments. At 240MP, this is honestly a steal.

Saves Christmas feels much like it's predecessor (nothing wrong with that), but I'd say that the graphics are more polished and the challenges are more intricate. Hopefully this means we'll keep seeing more from this developer (Ishisoft).

Lazy Review #9

Three solid titles this time around, as I catch up on some recent releases.

Very Hungry Pumpkin (80MP)

I am very hungry for some pumpkin pie, but I'll just have to wait it out a couple more weeks, won't I. Very Hungry Pumpkin is a very nice-looking 3D rendered Halloween themed game. Honestly, it's usually pretty rare to see a holiday themed game with this much graphical polish and I have to say that I was quite pleasantly surprised.

The pleasing graphics are nicely accompanied by smooth animations, great overall art direction, and well-suited spooky (yet catchy!) music. The gameplay is pretty straightforward - the goal being to collect a 'full tank' of candy while avoiding the trick-or-treaters and before they snag they candy! Crazy kids! The trick-or-treaters move horizontally at variable speeds, and you can collect a time-stopper clock to catch your breath when things get hectic.

Despite the one level (that simply amps up the difficulty per round), the experience is tight enough to warrant a good amount of playthroughs. My only real complaint is that sometimes the on-screen items (candy counter, remaining live, clock) actually block some of the important play zone. But all-and-all this is an attractive game for the season, and at less than the cost of a jumbo candy bar. If you're having a Halloween party, you should put this up on the TV for entertainment.

Banana Split (240MP)

I didn't have a token for Banana Split, but from what I can tell this is a promising food-themed platformer starring a classy banana as the main character. I usually keep my ear to the ground, but I didn't see much in the way of promotion for this game so hopefully it's not slipping by everyone.

The art direction is charming and diverse, and the levels are generally well-designed. It has most of the 'same ol' platformer mechanics (avoid enemies, jump on their heads, etc) but delivers them in a fresh package. There also seems to be a light story involved about saving the friendly healthy foods from the bad unhealthy foods. This was fun because I was able to rescue an ally before the demo ended.

It also serves as a child-friendly platformer with a positive message and fun theme. I'd recommend that any platformer fans give this a try and consider the investment - especially if you have kids and they can get some fun out of it too.

Powa Valley (400MP)

Here's a cartoon side-view volleyball game with a good number of features for online play too. If you're into this type of game and multiplayer action, there's not many reasons that you won't like Powa Valley.

The cast of playable characters is colorful, with each character having a special ability to use out on the court (jump higher, power hit, confuse opponent, etc). In my humble opinion, some of these abilities seem slightly unbalanced - like the little fella who can create a windstorm got a point on me every time.

The graphics are quite nice, with bright backgrounds and simplified shapes/effects. The controls are precise once you get used to the characters. I also have to give props for the intelligent AI with three levels of difficulty - they are not pushovers! The only real drawback here is that it's a pretty standard "bop-the-ball-over-the-net" mechanic - and while done really well, it might not be for everyone at the 400MP price point. Defintely worth grabbing the demo (and maybe a friend too) for a try though.

Lazy Review #8

Arkedo Series - 01 Jump! (240MP)

Here's a surprising little platformer that you might have missed. Some might incorrectly assume from afar that the graphics are really basic or amateur. But when you look closer and then actually play the game, it obvious that Jump! uses the pixelated look on purpose, but with an impressive amount of visual polish and care. I'd actually go out on a limb here and say this has some of the best art direction I've seen on XBLIG, and a good dose of effects that really add to the experience.

The gameplay is fairly straightforward and involves diffusing (or really just touching) bombs before the timer runs down then getting to the exit. The controls are tight/responsive and there are some additional gameplay elements that let you toss knives at enemies and so forth. And then it's the standard affair of avoid hazards and enemies.

There's not much to dislike here - it's just a good example of a game you can't judge to quickly because once you jump in you sort of realize that while it visually pays respect to the old arcade look, it's got a ton of extra power under the hood (I hate car analogies, but I was stumped). The only real issue I have is that the game is on the short side for the 240MP price and you don't really know how far the through the game you're getting. With no continues, it can be tough to budget your lives - and starting over from the beginning can be a little 'arrrrrggggg.' Have a go though.

A-maze!-ING (80 MP)

This is a basic game that sort of feels like a frantic open-level-style Frogger. You have to travel north quickly while navigating barriers (maze?) and avoid insta-kill from enemies that are traveling quickly left-to-right. That's about it - it's a little bare bones and the graphics aren't much to speak of honestly. You're also racing a clock which adds another level of intensity, but I couldn't decide if it was the good kind or bad kind of anxiety I was feeling.

The overall gameplay has potential, but it lacks visual polish and needs some additional features to create some greater depth and satisfaction. You'll be able to judge this one quickly by trying the demo.


Rad River Run (240 MP)

The first thing that struck me about this one one was the nice 3D graphics (see screenshot). The textures and models are rich and colorful and while the water performs a bit oddly (seems to flow in weird directions), it still looks impressive. It's nice to see a developer employ 3D on this platform, as it's quite rare.

The goal of the game is to navigate 'down' the river collecting beach balls that are worth varying amounts of points. You also need to avoid obstacles and the walls, which tend to ricochet you around in an unpleasing "boi-inggg" manner.

The concept is simple enough to be fun, and I can imagine it can get pretty competitive if you have someone to face off with - but where the game let me down was the controls. Because the game is based heavily on navigation, the awkward controls were hard to overcome. While I can understand it's probably quite difficult to mimic the natural movement of a craft in water, I have a feeling that testing would have revealed that players would struggle with the controls. They don't have to be realistic, just more responsive and manageable. Because there is a point penalty for bouncing off walls/obstacles, it can be a bit frustrating too - a little more polish on navigating the craft would make a world of difference.

Lazy Review #7

War: The Cardgame Advanced

The game's name does a good job of summing this up. It's essentially the cardgame of war with some controller mechanics (button mashing) built in. Basically you and an opponent (computer or human) have decks of cards - the twist is that as your cards face off, you have to perform the assigned button mashing. First one to 'complete' the mashing required on their card, wins. Win about 20 or so face offs, and the match is yours.


As simplistic as it is, I actually really liked the idea of taking a simple (popular) card game and putting a new mechanic on top. And as the screenshot shows, the card art and overall design is quite nice. It's easy to imagine the exact same game without the care put into the artwork - thankfully the developer went the extra mile and gave us something pretty to look at.

In the end, War: The Cardgame Advanced isn't anything groundbreaking but at 80MP, it's well priced for anyone who enjoys the classic cardgame and can appreciate the additional furious button mashing. The bonus of having appealing artwork provides a nice glossy feel that can be appreciated by anyone who sinks $1 into it.

Fire

Yep, not kidding. This an application that displays some flames on your screen. Not only has this been done already in multiple forms, but it's amazingly still not awesome. Even better, the developer behind this gem also released two other similar applications (aka screensavers for your TV) this same week. It's essentially just clutter, and feels like a desperate attempt to turn a quick buck off an "impulse buy" audience that I am unsure exists. No bang for your buck, literally. A little sizzle, but certainly no bang.

Pixel Man

Here's a little platformer that might be beyond retro - guess that depends on your age. It has that simplistic charm, both graphically gameplay-wise. You run and jump through short levels, getting to the exit (yellow square). I can't say it did much for me, as it didn't bring anything special to the table - it's a self-proclaimed experiment in minimalism, so I guess I can't knock it for achieving that goal.

The demos ends abruptly after several levels that took me about two minutes, so I can't be sure how much more to expect. With only 30 levels total, I can't imagine it being more than 30-40 minutes from start to finish. It might be worth a flier for 80MP if you can appreciate the focus on delivering simplicity.

Lazy Review #6

Filler

I saw that Filler was rated pretty well so I snagged the demo. I've seen games with similar concepts before but never tried them (I can be a bit of a graphics snob sometimes, and shapes don't excite me). Well, it's a pretty slick mechanic packed full of addictive qualities. You have to create enough spheres to fill the screen 2/3rds full. If a little red ball hits your sphere when you're trying to grow it, it pops. Also, your spheres slowly shrink after you create them, which adds a sense of urgency to create spheres quickly.

It's easy to grasp and it's hard to stop. Well for 20 minutes or so I was hooked. Then I kind of grew tired of the difficulty progression which just seems to add one more red ball each level. Eh. So my fun level sort of plateaued. The funny part is that even if you just let the game idle, it makes for a better screensaver than many of the screensaver apps. Wait that might be true of all games. I better stop this tangent here.

Overall, I do like the mechanic and while the graphics are pretty basic and unexciting they are crisp and sensible. I can imagine a similar mechanic could be greatly expanded upon and made much more interesting and long lasting. Have a try at the demo (at least) to see what you think of the overall concept.

Graviton AI

At first glance I thought this sidescrolling ship shooter had tons of appeal. I saw what looked to be a customizable ship, 3D graphics, explosions, and lots of guns. Yes it does seem to have all of those things, which is cool. I like the idea of a spaceport where you can upgrade your ship and the 3D graphics do allow for some neat little cut scenes and overall depth to the action.

Upon playing though, there are some missteps. There's a good amount of text thrown at you and I had sit and stare at the controls for a good minute before I felt comfortable with getting started.

So I jumped in and was confronted with a very messy bullet hell. All sorts of stuff is immediately thrown in your face. There are many bullets, some very hard to see, all different shapes, sizes, angles, and speeds. There are lots of enemies advancing in different ways. The HUD was hard to read, very complex looking, and I had no chance of reading anything while trying to avoid the craziness. I couldn't tell what I was firing but it seemed to be finite because my guns kept getting weaker. And the SFX were mashed up, messy, and grating on the ears. It's not for anyone expecting a pleasent learning curve or a laid-back shooter - I'll say that much.

I never lasted more than about 1 minute, gave it 6 good tries and then threw in the towel. I'd love to know if anyone with some top-notch shmup skillzzz can get through the first level.

Avatar Drop

Ahhhh, casual goodness - playful violence - a combo made in XBLIG heaven. We're seeing more avatar use in XBLIGs and this one is a simple but fun approach. You basically control your avatar as you fall downward, bouncing off balls and trying to score points by getting through rings.

The controls are simple and the ragdoll physics add a good deal of hilarity as your avatar wildly flops about. A nice inclusion is the use of a sort of "cartwheel" maneuver that allows you to spin heavily in either direction. This can launch you laterally and sometimes upwards which helps you to snag more points.

It's pretty enjoyable by yourself for a decent amount of time, but it's obviously way better with friends - watching each other fall violently while trying to get through rings first. I believe we will see more games like this where we get to beat the heck out of our avatars. And I am looking forward to that.

Lazy Review #5

Streets of Fury

Streets of Fury is a generic sounding street brawler that uses some pretty slick motion capture to pay respect to the 2nd generation brawlers from back in the day. I was really impressed by the amount of moves, animations and characters. The controls are little tricky (namely switching 'planes' - front, middle, or back rows) and sometimes I found the collision to be a bit off, but overall this is a good head-bashing time and pretty funny as well.

It suffers from some issues like repetitive enemies and confusion caused by too many characters being near each other screen - but honestly there isn't much like this on XBLIG right now and the overall look/feel is sexy. I imagine that co-op is a blast too. I wasn't able to score a token for this one or else I probably would have done a more thorough review. I didn't see any 2-by-4s or baseball bats to pick up, just FYI - maybe later on in the game. (240 MP)

Ninja Guardian

Here's a unique looking little game with a not-so-unique ninja lead character. I found the art style very appealing, with colorful and dramatic landscapes in a cartoon-Asian painting style. The large panels you see in the screenshot create a pretty small gameplay area bordered by large pieces of art, but they also act as sliding (rice paper?) doors like we're accustomed to seeing in ninja movies. It's a unique design choice with some obvious pros and cons.

Thankfully the gameplay is vertical, with the goal to bounce and fight your way to the top of the game area. This is not a unique mechanic (basically you need to keep making contact with platforms or else you fall back down to your death) but there is quite a few additions to that. You can attack, double jump, and become invincible for a bit. I found it pretty challenging to incorporate these other moves while also trying to navigate with misstepping - but I am no expert nor are my reflexes what they used to be. Had this been a pure platformer rather than a ascension/bounce type game, it might gather a larger audience - but I still really liked the art style and the gameplay (should you like this type of game) is well-polished. (240 MP)

Wacky Karts

The problem with Wacky Karts is not that it isn't a fun game, it's that anyone who has played Mario Kart will probably be let down. Ah here lies the problem in emulating a hit. This is essentially a direct adaptation, but without Mario characters and without the professional polish. It's still fun to race around the tracks (and probably much more so on 4-player mode), but it doesn't bring anything new to the table - and the comparison is unavoidable. I like the simple graphics that surely look alot like the original. And there's nothing like it on XBLIG right now so if you like kart racing games, it's worth a trial.

My main issues were that the wall collision is really bad and almost game-breaking. Hitting a wall is doom - you don't bounce off, you just stop and get stuck. Hitting other drivers often results in weird deceleration that is unpredictable. There is also less satisfying powerups, less application of realistic physics like sliding or drifting, and the AI seem to have advantages (not sure, but they don't seem to ever vary speed if they go untouched). Some of these issues are just because I am used to the high polish on the Mario Kart games, but the collision/stuck-on-walls issue really needs to be addressed. This has potential to be a really cool re-make, but needs to add one more layer of polish/originality if it wants to stand out. (400 MP)

Lazy Review #4

Superspace

I have a hard time NOT downloading games that have little spaceships in them. Usually the norm is to have these spaceships explosively blasting away bad guys and so forth, but Superspace takes a more passive approach. The idea here is to collect goods and safely bring them back to your base without dying.

Your ship can pick up smaller goods by passing over them, but also has a grappling hook (pimp!) that can be used, and must be used on some larger goods. Along the way, you best not get hit by opposing gun turrets and look out for the nastiest villain of them all - walls.

The navigation in this one is a little different as well. See, gravity plays a role - we're not in outer space so there is the constant downward drag on your ship. And you must apply and direct a thruster to move around. Add in some agressive physics on your grappling hook, and there a good deal to consider before you even think about your mission. What I am getting at is that the controls and navigation take some getting used to - just putting a player in a maze of walls would be a challenge.

Now I am not a lazy player. I enjoy a learning curve and don't expect every game to conform to the easiest, most well-known control/navigation scheme of the genre. Over the course of my playtime, I was able to get pretty good at flying around without cargo. But when I was using my grappling hook, I was met with frustration and the game felt like work. The physics applied to the grappling hook make it extremely hard to fly as it seems the that the weight of the cargo has an effect on your ship and can pull it in the direction that it's swinging. It's a cool concept but ultimately not a fun one. What makes it brutal is that hitting walls/ground at a certain velocity destroys your ship which feels almost inevitable since so many factors are in play.

Bottom line - I do like the relaxed collect-and-return concept, and the game looks nice too, but the overuse of dynamic physics drained my patience. I could definitely draw comparisons with games like Halfbrick Blastoff and Bennu, where you need to really have an "ah ha" moment on the controls/physics to make it playable. So I partially blame myself for not getting there, but if I am the average gamer, then other people might be experiencing the same thing. When the primary challenge in a game is making your character move like you want him too, I am not sure that's a good first step towards fun. I believe this game will appeal to those who liked the aforementioned games - it also has co-op and versus modes, so that's cool. (240 MP)

Spectra Musical Massage

Uh oh. Call me old fashioned guy, but I strongly prefer games to applications on the XBLIG service. If there is a market for apps then that's wonderful and I hope the best apps rise to the top. Apparently, the Xbox360 controller is a worthwhile massage tool, which I honestly find REALLY strange. Are people sitting at home with the controller balanced on their neck or something? Or worse, in their pants?

Anyhow, Spectra Musical Massage is a sort of combo music player massage application with screensaver type visuals. Apparently it features some tracks by indie music artists as well, which is a cool/nice gesture for the musicians out there. For me, that was the best part.

I did a search on xboxindies for "massage" and got back 10 results - yes 10 applications/games that include a massaging controller. So hopefully someone is "enjoying" these or else this is a mighty full trashcan.

Here's how SMM describes itself: "Combining musically adaptive psychedelic visuals with a virtually unlimited number of massage patterns that bump and shake with YOUR music, and featuring over 30 minutes of incredible indie soundtracks, Spectra Musical Massage is your one-stop source for all things controller massage related!" (240 MP)

Jungle Blocks

I've always been a fan of Breakout/Arkanoid style games and there's a good representation of them on XBLIG. Jungle Blocks is a nice colorful version with big bold blocks to bust apart and a jungle theme to go with it. Overall I liked the design and it felt warm and approachable, like a cartoon gorilla.

Adapting the paddle controls to the Xbox360 controller is challenging because it's hard to avoid feeling slippery and punishing players who have heavy thumbs. You need to have some finesse to make sure you don't overcompensate when sliding the paddle. I actually did better using the d-pad but that's something you'll need to test out - at least the option is there.

If you like this type of game and can get used to controls, it's not a bad deal for 200MP. And if it drops to 80MP soon, then you'll certainly have your money's worth.

Lazy Review #3

Who Did I Date Last Night

Ah, if I had a nickle for every time I woke up with that problem. I'd have no nickles. This unusual game entices those browsing the game catalog with a little skin and sexuality. But I can assure you that there is nothing within besides some awkward headshots and B-list bikini models. Now that we've answered that question, we're left with the task of using several clues to match the correct girl's picture. You get three guesses and then it's end-game. I apparently dated a brown/straight haired professional last night, and she was hot as hell. My wife is going to KILL me. I can't recommend this one - the gameplay is shallow and it makes me feel creepy.

Drop Zone

Shooting down stickmen paratroopers can be a good time, please take note. Drop Zone has a retro arcade look/feel and it's exactly the type of game that seems to "fit" on the XBLIG service. More specifically, I love this game as a quick impulse buy at 80MP. If one arcade play costs 25 cents, then this is a steal for lifetime plays at 1 dollar. The concept is simple - shoot down the paratroopers and helicopters and prevent the former from reaching the ground. If they do reach the ground, they run over and plant a bomb on your turret = death. On the plus side, the music/SFX are solid and the exploding stickmen animations are truly satisfying. I was little annoyed that the turret was limited to certain angles of fire and there were not enough - it made aiming difficult. As mentioned, I like this entry as a solid retro arcade $1 purchase. It won't blow your socks off, but it's a simple and fun pick-up-and-play experience.

Crescendo Symphony

Interesting game name. This game got a good deal of attention as being one of the first Japanese games available to English-speakers. When I first fired it up, I was treated to some nice looking Japanese style art and overall the shell of the game looks quite appealing. The game style is a pretty standard side-scrolling shooter, but rather than a spaceship you play as a wand-wielding young anime girl. Your character's bullets are satisfying to fire and I was having a good time for the first couple

minutes of play. But then some flaws started to become apparent. The hit detection on your character is difficult to understand because the avatar is quite large and unsymmetrical, and it seems that only a certain radius 'counts.' Bullets would pass through my legs and sometimes head, so it was tough to figure out where I needed to be. The deal breaker for me was the lack of depth. No powerups, only a handful of static enemies, and the same waves approaching over and over. There might be something 'hardcore' about this that I am missing, but it personally wasn't doing anything for me.

Lazy Review #2

Chick Chick Chicky

Bah a square-headed green duck!! This new title for Xbox Indie Games (it's official peeps) is best summed up as a Pac Man style game for kids. It's colorful, kid-friendly and you play as a duck or a chick (baby chicken, not a bikini model) that gets chased around a maze by a cat. Collect all of the pellets and get to the exit and you win the level.

It's a pretty simple formula that's time-tested and the cartoony twist can't hurt. The difficulty seems aimed at younger gamers as well because instead of 4 ghosts, you are initially chased by just one cat for the first several levels. This is exceedingly easy as you really can't get trapped. There are some other design twists as well, like worms that pop up and can be snagged for points (sort of like fruit) and it offers multiplayer so you can play with gamer newbs or kids.

I'd say this is probably better suited for the 200MP, but it's not unreasonable at the current 400MP.

Rock Paper Scissors Xtreme!

I'd say that the "Xtreme" is debatable and the exclamation point is just plain deceiving. This is what it sounds like - a game of Rock Scissors Paper. And obviously, it's automatically less extreme when you're so pathetic that you can't play this game in real life with real hands. I mean, at least add something to the basic mechanic - or use creative graphics/animations. Not even the music had me bumpin'.


I am guessing the developer knows exactly what he's up to. My proof is that he also includes a rumble/massage based 'game' and crystal ball 'game' within the same download. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Insult to injury, the developer even plugs his other game while you try to quit out of this one ("Cold War Commander"). So I tried that [simplified platformer with a political satire twist] and it also includes a rumble/massage addition. I think cross-advertising should not be allowed.

Do I have to beg? Please stop. I appreciate the over-the-top themes, and might even smirk with you if this is an intentionally mockery, but we've (can I speak for everyone here?) had enough. You've got skills, so use them for good.

TabeBALL

Last up is a virtual foosball game. Like most games in this category (billiards, ping pong, darts, etc) I always would opt for the real thing, but that's not to say that a well-built game doesn't have its niche. I actually really liked the look of this game (see screenie), with a nice 3D feel and simple interface.

But if you had to name the most important thing about a foosball video game, what would it be? Right, the controls. And unfortunately they are pretty rough. It must not be easy to recreate, especially considering that even real life foosball is challenging to control well. But really, I might as well have been trying to hold my controller with two bananas - there was just no way to make the ball go where I wanted - it was 90% dumb luck. Tilting the players seemed to do nothing to the velocity, and the ball would ricochet more akin to pinball than foosball.

4 of the 5 goals scored came as of result of the player (including the CPU) scoring on itself. There was also a common problem where the CPU was have the ball stuck in a corner for 10-15 seconds. If you like foosball, try the demo and see if you figure out a trick to controlling the ball that I missed. If you do, it might be worth the 200MP.

Lazy Review #1

Bennu
Bennu is a physics-based puzzler with a bit of Bionic Commando thrown in. The story/intro was certainly... puzzling, but I do appreciate the attempt at a theme.

Basically you swing your orb around (which apparently is a bird that was transformed, and you use it's beak like a grappling hook or something?) and make contact with bricks of the same color to break them. You can touch colored flames to change the color of your orb.

It actually looks pretty nice and is conceptually strong, if not entirely unique. For me personally, the controls just made me frustrated. I could not make the orb go where I wanted. It felt very floaty and sporadic. With the entire game resting on the controls and physics, I just couldn't get over that. True puzzler fans might have more luck and fun.

Shield Defense
Shield Defense has you controlling a very immobile tank with a very powerful shield that reflects attacks. It's sort of like a tower defense game, where you are the lone tower. Only you're a tank, got it?

The reflection mechanic is pretty fun. It's entertaining to use your enemy's attacks against themselves. As you take down foes, you get money and can upgrade your tank in a number of ways.

It looks solid with cartoony tank graphics and lots of enemies. I have this nagging feeling that I can play something very similar for free with a quick google search - it's just not a very deep experience. And again, the core mechanic (in this case reflecting attacks) just doesn't feel tight or satisfying enough. It was very frustrating when you only had a couple enemies left to beat and it's nearly impossible to reflect the bullets in the direction you want. As the end of each level approaches is actually gets more boring, which is weird.

Actually worth a trial though. It's addicting in the same way that Tower Defense games can be.

Gallery: Landscapes
Yes that's the screenshot. A lake with some mountains. This is yet another screensaver/clock application. I am mostly doing this in order to call out a very worthy and applauded developer, Binary Tweed, who released the well received "Clover" early this year. This is his follow up I guess.

I can only hope this is some sort of twisted experiment. One of the good guys has been bitten. Infected, and spewing puss, he is the walking dead.

We're now at the point where the system is being broken on purpose. People download these apps (out of curiosity, or because they tell all their friends?) and then they appear on both the New Releases and the Most Popular lists. Shitter's full.

Lazy Reviews

I am starting a new feature called "Lazy Reviews." The idea being, there's tons of games on Xbox Live Indie Games, and not all of them really need an in-depth review. These are generally games that I try out on a whim, not because I've been drawn to it in any way. A good portion might also be the types of games (or apps) that clog up the airwaves. You know, the ones that boil my blood. Rumble Fart Xtreme, and the likes. There might be some well-targeted smaller niche titles too though.